Mr. and Mr. and Mr. - No1. 10 September 1983

Did Glenn go to the Boys' Brigade? What's Martyn's favourite chat-up line? And what did Ian's trousers cost?
Heaven 17 find out how much they really know about each other. Or how little...







What's his middle name?

Martyn: Peter.

Ian: Peter.

Glenn's answer: Er ... Peter.


Martyn: Ha! Glenn nearly got it wrong!

What greeting does he use when he meets other people?

Martyn: 'Ay-oop'.

Ian: I think it varies a lot: Glenn does these big theatrical entrances always with a joke attached. But I think generally he just says 'hi'.

Glenn's answer: I say 'Alright?'


No.1 art editor Sandy confirmed that Glenn had greeted her with a simple 'Alright?'

What does he think of Duran Duran?

Martyn: I think he thinks they're a very ... er ... competent and occasionally inspired group.

Ian: I don't think he particularly loves or hates them. There are groups in the charts he would absolutely loathe but they're not one of them.

Glenn's answer: I think they're alright.

Has he got any superstitions?

Martyn: Not that I know of.

Ian: If anything he'd go the reverse. If there was a ladder to walk under he probably would!

Glenn's answer: I'm not superstitious at all.

When did he start dying his hair?

Martyn: Oh God, ages and ages ago; he's always messed about with the colour of his hair. You want me to name the year like on Question Of Sport? Alright-1974. I think.

Ian: Probably around 11/2 to 2 years ago.

Glenn's answer: 1975. I had it Superman blue!


Ian: I thought you meant when did he first dye it blonde?

Does he do any impersonations?

Martyn: Non stop. He does Kevin Turvey (Rik Mayall), Vivian from The Young Ones, and he's pretty good at Irish accents and doing a sort of East End Gangster. There's loads of them - he's a man of a thousand faces.

Ian: Continually. Not necessarily of specific people like Mike Yarwood does, but he's quite good at mimicking friends of ours and doing colloquial accents.

Glenn's answer: I suppose I do.


Glenn: Oh well, I do ... Young Ones characters. Vivian. Rik Mayall. Kevin Turvey.

Martyn: I think I ought to get full points on this!

Was he ever in the Scouts or Boys' Brigade? Martyn: I think he was in the Boys' Brigade.

Ian: He definitely wasn't in the Boys' Brigade, but I think he might have been in the Scouts for something like a day or a couple of nights.

Glenn's answer: I was actually in the Scouts but only for a day. I was thrown out!


Ian jumps out of his chair, punches the air as if he's just scored a goal and starts humming 'Match Of The Day'.

What's his favourite chat-up line with girls?

Martyn: I don't think he ever has one. He's too lazy. Like me. There was a great one in a Bob Hope film once - "Is that your hair or did they scalp an angel?" Glenn's married now, of course - so am I - so we shouldn't be talking about such things.

Ian: I really wouldn't know. I should imagine he's gof hundreds!

Glenn's answer: I don't think I've really got one.

Does he prefer Dallas to Coronatior Street? Martyn: No! No! He's a big Coronation Street fan.

Ian: I'd say he preferred Coronation Street.

Glenn's answer: No, I like Coronation Street.

What pop star is he most likely to ask to come live with him?

Martyn: It would have been Debbie Harry at one time, but she's gone right downhill. Patrice Rushen or Diana Ross.

Ian: Er ... Sarah Gregory, pop star to be! (Sarah is Glenn's wife, who has a recording contract).

Glenn's answer: Dean Martin!


Glenn: I already live with my wife. I think we ought to knock some points off Marsh for continually hedging his bets!







What does his mother call him?

Glenn (mimicking Martyn's mum's voice): "Is that you Martyn!" She just calls him Martyn.

Ian (does similar impression): I don't think she's got any special name for him apart from just Martyn.

Martyn's answer: Our Martyn!


Glenn: Our Martyn!

Martyn: Yeah, but she only says that to other people. She doesn't say: "Hello, our Martyn".

What's his favourite Heaven 17 song?

Glenn: 'Let Me Go', I think.

Ian: 'The Best Kept Secret'.

Martyn's answer: 'Let Me Go'.


Martyn (after hearing Ian's answer): 'Let Me Go' and 'Best Kept Secret' are the same song! Well ... same chords.

What would he do if he saws spider in the bath?

Glenn: Wash it down the plughole or throw it out the window. He wouldn't kill it.

Ian: He'd get something to scrape it out and put it somewhere. Or just flush it away.

Martyn's answer: I'd flush it away-or go out and buy it a little ladder for it to climb out!

Does he snore?

Glenn: No ... not the times I've slept with him!

Ian: I've shared rooms with him and I've never noticed he snored.

Martyn's answer: No.

(Note for insomniacs: Mr Ware does stay awake all night at least once a week playing with his computer.)

How well does he stand up to a few drinks?

Glenn: Very well ... he gets pished ... but he stands up very well! The first sign that he's had a few is when he says "Whew!"

Ian: He handles it well then reaches a point where he totally falls to pieces.

Martyn's answer: Quite well. Reactions

Martyn (on hearing Ian's answer): I go to pieces eventually but I go through a few other stages first.

Glenn: I said you went "Whew!"

Martyn: Yeah, that's close!

Does he cry in sad films like E. T. ?

Glenn: No, he laughs!

Ian: Probably, yeah. A contained sob.

Martyn's answer: I have done, yes.

Was he ever in the Scouts or Boys' Brigade?

Glenn: No, I don't think he was.

Ian: I think- no, never.

Martyn's answer: I was in the Cubs.


Ian: If you'd have said 'Cubs', I might have answered yes.

What's his favourite chat-up line with girls?

Glenn: "Hello-would you like a drink?" Very straightforward, I reckon.

Ian: He's more subdued than Glenn - a lot shyer. I wouldn't have thought he'd got one.

Martyn's answer: I haven't got one. I'm too lazy.


Martyn: I like Glenn's answer, but I've never done that! I'd like to say I had.

Does he prefer Dallas to Coronation Street?

Glenn: Yes.

Ian: Yes. But its borderline.

Martyn's answer: Yes.


Martyn: It is very borderline.

Glenn: Ah, but it was a straight question. I want a straight yes or no answer, I'm afraid!

What pop star is he most likely to ask to come live with him?

Glenn: Diana Ross.

Ian: Diana Ross or Donna Summer.

Martyn's answer: Er ... Diana Ross.


Martyn: I would have said Donna Summer a few years ago. But she's got God now and she's really gone to pieces.







When and where was he born?

Martyn: In Sheffield. 1957. Can't remember the date.

Glenn: Sheffield. He never tells anyone when it's his birthday but I think he was born in'57.

Ian's answer: At four in the morning, during a storm, on Sunday November 11, 1956, at my parents' home in Sheffield.

What's his favourite record by The Human League?

Martyn: 'Marianne'.

Glenn: 'Marianne'.

Ian's answer: They've probably both got this right-'Marianne'.

Does he say 'Scown' or 'Sconn' for Scone?

Martyn: Sconn.

Glenn: Scown. And he says 'Carnation' Street that really bugs me!

Ian's answer: Scown.

How much did the trousers he's wearing today cost?

(Difficult question this one because at the time I posed it to Glenn and Martyn, Ian hadn't yet turned up!)

Martyn: I think he'll probably be wearing his Antony Price trousers - which are half of a suit - so £150.

Glenn: He might be in the jeans I gave him! And he wears shorts a lot! But I'll guess he'll be wearing his dark grey striped suit today, so the trousers from that will be about £150.

Ian's answer: Er ...

Glenn: (helpfully) It'll be half the price of the suit, Ian.

Ian: Er ... (fingers the material of his trouserleg). (Martyn starts snoring) ... About £150.


Glenn: Spot on!

Martyn: I got the right price. Wrong suit. I thought you'd be wearing the Antony Price one.

When and where did he go on holiday this year?

Martyn: None of us have been on holiday this year.

Glenn: He went to Norfolk for a couple of days with Jane, his girlfriend. He hated it because it was so flat and boring! I tried to tell him.

Ian's answer: I didn't go on holiday.


Glenn (astounded): Nowhere at all?

Ian: No.

Glenn: So you never ever went to Norfolk.

Ian: Ah, but you wouldn't class that as a holiday.

Glenn: What was it then?

Ian: Oh, well, I do that sort of thing all the time. It was an excursion.

Glenn (in Brummie accent): Ah, an excursion is it?

Ian: Alright, alright- I think Glenn ought to get a point for accuracy of reporting.

Glenn (martyred voice): No, no, I don't want any points for excursions.

Does he do any keep fit or jogging?

Martyn: He's got a weights bench. Dunno if he uses it. And he plays tennis with Jane.

Glenn: He walks in the park. And he's got a weights bench.

Ian's answer: Yes, but not regularly. I've got some weights.


Martyn (searchingly): Do you not ... play any games ... with your ... spouse?

Glenn: Leading question!

Ian: Oh yeah, I play tennis ... occasionally.

Glenn: And you never ever I suppose go walking in the park?

Ian: Oh yeah, I walk in the park.

Martyn: But walking in the park's not bloody exercise!

Glenn: Yes it is!

Martyn (after some thought): But he has to walk round the park to get to the tennis courts!

Ian: Better give them a point each.

Was he ever in the Scouts or Boys' Brigade?

Martyn: Don't think so, no.

Glenn: I think he was in the Boys' Brigade. Wild guess.

Ian's answer: I was in the the Boys' Brigade.


Martyn: I got confused!

Glenn: Pipped at the post, Ware!

What's his favourite chat-up line with girls?

Martyn: Oh Ian would neverchat up a girl. And if he did, he'd make sure no one was in earshot. He's very shy.

Glenn: He doesn't own a chat-up line! He's the strong and silent type.

Ian's answer: Haven't got one.


Ian (after hearing Glenn's answer): Dunno about the 'strong silent type'.

Martyn: Still waters run deep.

Does he prefer Dallas to Coronation Street?

Martyn: I think he prefers them equally!

Glenn: I think he prefers Coronation Street.

Ian's answer: I prefer Coronation Street.


Martyn: But he used to watch Dallas!

Glenn: No, no, I'm afraid there's no point there, mate-he's given his answer.

What pop star is he most likely to ask to come live with him?

Martyn: I don't think he'd want a pop star. I think he'd prefer a film starlet like Nastassia Kinski. He used to like Cybil Shepherd.

Glenn: Jimi Hendrix

Ian's answer: None. Can't think of any.


Glenn: Go on-say someone-anyone.

Ian: Er... Crystal Gayle.

Glenn: Crystal Gayle!

Heaven 17 should know each other pretty well. After all, Glenn Gregory, Ian Craig Marsh and Martyn Ware have been mates for ten years - and Ian and Martyn were together in The Human League before Heaven 17 formed in 1981.

But how well do they know each other's intimate little habits, quirks and opinions? And did they ever bother to tell each other whether they were in the Scouts or the Boys' Brigade?

We decided to put them through a test similar to the MrAnd Mrs show that used to be on TV.

Martin Townsend took each member aside on his own, and questioned him about the other two members of the band.

Then we got all three together and each member answered his own set of questions.

To add a competitive edge, we awarded a point for correct answers. The overall winner-the one who knows the most about the other two - was Martyn.

All the answers in the test - which Glenn christened Mr And Mr And Mr - are shown above.